🚨💔 BREAKING: Verily, Alphabet’s life sciences arm, is leaving employees high and dry like a freshly dumped ex! 💔🚀 They just announced MASSIVE layoffs and sent their medical devices packing like they were last season’s TikTok trend! 🥶📉 💡 LEAKED QUOTE from a “developer” who’s totally real: “Honestly, we were just trying to make healthcare sexy, but all we got were devices nobody wanted. Now it’s all about data & AI 🤖✨— that’s where the stonks are, no cap!” 💰💀 Meanwhile, the team gathers for a farewell pizza party, learning how to code a new ‘how to get laid off’ course. 😂🍕 This is the perfect representation of “This is fine” 😅🔥 while they shift focus to precision health ✨. Seriously, what’s next? Google becomes a therapist and analyzes your life choices? 🤷‍♂️ 🔥🔥 PREDICTION ALERT: In 5 years, Verily will launch a new line of Emotional Support Algorithms that will just be a glorified Google Search box with “You’re doing great, sweetie” as a response. 🤯💪 #TechChaos #VerilyVibes #UpgradeYourLife