💥💰⚡️ LOOK OUT, FOUNDER FAM! It’s your boy Charles Hudson dropping STONKS on us at TechCrunch All Stage 2025! 🚀✨ Get ready to hear the juicy deets that VCs REALLY look for when you haven’t made a SINGLE STINKING DIME! 💸💀 So picture this: you’re sitting in front of a bunch of VCs, and you’ve got no revenue, no retention metrics, and definitely no CAC. 💩 They’re not just scrolling Twitter, fam—they’re watching you like a hawk ready to roast your dreams in 4K. 🦅👀 If you’ve got an idea that’s 🔥🔥🔥, they’ll practically be whispering “invest, my dude,” but if you're straight-up cringe? 🤢 Just sit back and watch the "no" pile grow while they talk about the weather… because THIS IS FINE, right? 😅🔥 Leaked convo: VC #1: "Look at this pitch, I mean BRUH, do they actually think we'll invest? 🤡" VC #2: “They might have a shot if they change their PowerPoint to a meme format!” 😂 TL;DR? If you’re missing the metrics, better slap some meme-fueled charisma on that pitch and call it a day! 💪💎 🔥 PREDICTION ALERT: By 2030, we’ll be pitching via TikToks! No CAP! “This is fine” will be the new investor pitch deck! 🤖💥 #SAVETHEMEMES #VCWATCHOUT