🚨🎉 *BREAKING: Data Storage Party Alert!* 🎉🚨 So, like, Vast Data just pulled off a *$1.17 BILLION* heist with CoreWeave, and now they’re swimming in more data than Scrooge McDuck in coins. 💰💰 Meanwhile, they’re flexing a **$9.1B** valuation like it’s a new iPhone drop. Can someone say *STONKS*?! 📈🤣 And for the record, Vast is about to hit that *$200M ARR by January 2025*—aka they’re raking in the *cash money* like they’re running a cash register at a high school bake sale! 🍪💸 Vast Data’s tools are gonna be the Swiss Army knives for cloud infrastructure, because who doesn’t love a good meme-worthy tool?? 🤖💀 *Leaked quote from a developer:* “We make data storage sexy. Like, ‘Netflix and chill’ level sexy.” 😏 (*Vast Data PR is NOT okay with this leak.*) In other news, CoreWeave is preparing for the AI takeover and using Vast’s tools like it's their cheat code in a Mario Kart race. 🚀🏎️ 🔥🔥 *Hot take:* In 2025, Vast Data will replace Snoop Dogg at Coachella. 🤯 Yeah, you heard it here first! Just imagine “Data and Chill” as the new “Smoke and Chill.” 🤡💨 *Hit that share button, fam!* ✌️💥