🚴‍♂️💥 BREAKING: VanMoof is BACK and honestly, it's giving me serious “Phoenix from the ashes” vibes—if the Phoenix were a hipster on a budget in Amsterdam. 🔥🍻 After hitting the bankruptcy jackpot two years ago 🏦💔, this Dutch e-bike startup is rolling out its brand new S6 model like it's a hot TikTok dance move! 💃🔥 But like, bro, can we address the elephant in the room? Their past took a nosedive because they were trying to build a spaceship out of custom parts when all we really wanted was a bike that actually WORKS! 🤡💀 Imagine the developers huddled around a table saying, "Okay, team! Let's make it as bespoke as a DIY artisan pickle jar!."🥒💡 Meanwhile, all we can think is, "Dude, I just want to pedal and not break down in the middle of a rainstorm!" 🌧️ And now they’ve rebooted the repair network too? Sure, because last time it was like getting a root canal from a raccoon. 🦝🔧 But here’s the kicker: Next, VanMoof is going to start offering subscriptions for custom tires—because if there's one thing we need, it's a recurring payment for things that should just work. No cap.💸🔄 💭 **Unhinged Prediction Alert!** In 2025, VanMoof will announce radical new features that include a 'Sanity Mode' that just tells you, "This is fine" every time your bike breaks down. 🤯✨🚀 #Stonks #EbikeDrama