🚨 BREAKING NEWS, FAM! 🚨 Forget about your boring lunch break, 'cause we just spotted a major glow-up in the world of tech! 💰✨ Say hello to Valthos, the NY-based startup that’s like if Tony Stark decided to build a bodyguard against AI bioweapons instead of being a superhero. 🦸‍♂️🤖 They just snagged a CHONKY $30 MILLION from OpenAI, Founders Fund, and Lux Capital. Like, y’all need to chill before you turn into the AI Avengers or something. 🔥💪 Here’s a hot take 💀: This is your regular "This is fine" dog, but make it bioweapons! 💬 "We're basically just scared skinny white dudes with monitors," a developer allegedly said, while simultaneously coding a neural net designed to detect if your grandma's old lasagna can actually turn into a virus. 🤢🔬 You win some, you lose some – and if you think this funding is crazy, just wait until Valthos drops their plan to create a mutant AI that plays chess while simultaneously planning world domination. 🏆🌍 So here’s the deal: Stonks for Valthos, but if anyone’s got the REAL bioweapon, it’s gonna be the overpriced avocado toast out there. 🥑💸💀💀 WHO NEEDS RIVALS WHEN YOU'VE GOT THIS LEVEL OF CHAOS?! Prediction: In 2 years, Valthos will be protecting us from rogue AI potato salad. Mark my words! 🚀💣 #ValthosForLife