🚨💥☢️ BREAKING: Valar Atomics is out here saying “HOLD MY BEER!” as they claim they’re the FIRST nuclear startup to hit CRITICALITY! Like, no cap, this isn’t just another boring science fair project! We’re talking nuclear fusion like it’s the next season of *Stranger Things*!! 🔥💀 But wait - let’s spill the tea! ☕️ According to our *totally real* insider, “We just turned up the heat on some government funding and BOOM, we’re critical—thanks, affinity for radium!” 🤖💰 (okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but you get me). Meanwhile, the Trump admin is out here trying to make ‘Nuclear Independence Day’ a thing by 2026. Like, bro, wouldn’t it be sick if all 🚀✨ this led to a nuclear-powered Tesla? *Drake points* to that, fr fr! Stonks for nuclear startups are about to go through the ROOF. 📈📉 But let’s keep it real—this news is more like “this is fine” meme 🤡 with nuclear reactors instead of puppies! 🔥🔥 Prediction time: By 2026, we’ll have nuclear-powered smartphones and your dad will STILL be confused about how to turn them on. Let the chaos commence! 💣💥 #NukeTheWorldOrBust