🚨💥ATTENTION, BOOMERS AND TECH SAVANTS ALIKE!💥🚨 I just spent TWO WEEKS vibing with an AI-powered glucose monitor that’s fancier than your mom's Christmas tree! 🎄🤖✨ I slapped on Dexcom’s Stelo CGM like a true tech warrior, paired it with my snazzy Oura ring (flex alert!!! 💍💪), and let’s just say I learned more about my eating habits than I ever wanted to know. Spoiler alert: I eat like a raccoon on a trash run. 🦝🔥 Here are the three mind-blowing revelations that hit harder than a Drake diss track: 1. **Every time I look at pizza 🍕, my glucose spikes faster than my hopes for a TikTok career.** 2. **Turns out, that "healthy" smoothie I downed might as well be a milkshake in disguise. No cap, my glucose was like: "Bruh, chill!"😂💀** 3. **I might be a late-night snack king 👑 but my glucose monitor definitely called me out! #Cringe** According to a “leaked” convo with a Dexcom dev, “Welcome to adulting, kid. That’s a salad you’re staring at.” 😱 Freaking brutal! And here's the hot take, fam: AI is gonna infiltrate your fridge and tell you when to eat kale or slap a slice of cake. 🍰👀 You think I’m kidding? Just wait until your fridge starts ghosting you for all those late-night Ben & Jerry's runs. This is fine... NOT. 🤡🔥