🚨🔥BREAKING NEWS: Amazon's about to play "Survivor: Warehouse Edition"! 💀🛠️ They’re ready to cut loose up to 30,000 employees faster than you can say “Prime shipping”! 📦✌️ Sources are like, “This is fine,” as they sip coffee from their “Fired” mugs ☕️💔. Remember when Amazon was all about that "customer obsession"? Now they’re just obsessing over their bottom line like it’s the next episode of *The Real Housewives* 🤣💸. 👩‍💻💬 "Yeah, we just decided to make layoffs our annual event, you know, like Christmas in July but with more tears.” ~ Leaked Developer Quote Meanwhile, tech analysts are reeling, trying to figure out if *stonks* 📈 are going up with 30,000 fewer mouths to feed or crashing harder than a 2006 flip phone. 🤯📉 But listen up fam, why does Amazon need all those employees when they can just train a bunch of robots to pick and pack? 🤖🔥 Brace yourselves for “The Rise of the Roombots” where your vacuum cleaner now does the job of a warehouse worker. 💥 HOT TAKE: In 2024, Amazon will merge with a robot-training academy and start an underground fight club for delivery droids. Who’s in?! 😤🚀 Share if you think this is WAY more dramatic than the latest Netflix docu-series! 📺🤪