🚨BREAKING: USA Today Hits the Snowflake Marketplace Like a Thirsty Influencer! 🚨💦 Say goodbye to those cringe-fest newspaper stacks and hello to AI-driven journalism, baby! 🤖✨ Gannett Co. is pulling a major “I didn't choose the journalism life; the journalism life chose me” move, making its exclusive info available through the Snowflake Marketplace. It's literally like "Gimme that CURATED CONTENT!" 🍕📚💰 #Stonks 📈 Developer quote leak: “We’re basically asking people to treat our news like crypto—good luck figuring out what’s real, fam. 🤷‍♂️” - Actual USA Today Dev, probably👀. And because the world of journalism is as chaotic as a TikTok dance trend, they’ve rolled out the AI Cortex Knowledge Extension, aka the “Oops, I just mixed facts with fiction!” button 🔥💀. But let’s be real: this move is either gonna be the new frontier of factual reporting or another “this is fine” meme moment in the making. 🤷‍♀️💔 **Hot take:** In 2024, we’ll see AI journalism so evolved that it interviews itself. Imagine your news being narrated by a chatbot Snoop Dogg! 🚀🔥 So buckle up, newsies, it’s about to get WILD! 🥳✨