🚨💥 BREAKING: The Tech Titans Are Shaking in Their Iron Boots! ⚔️🐉 Y’all, the U.S. Senators have hit the ‘RESTART’ button on the Open App Markets Act (no cap) to take down the world’s biggest app store bullies: Apple and Google! 🎯📱 *Cue the Avengers Assemble music* 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️ Remember when this bill was supposed to be a thing in 2021? Yeah, it flopped harder than a foldable phone left in a hot car. 😂💀 It never even got a *floor vote*. Like, can we rate that level of cringe on a scale from 1 to "This is fine" dog? 🐶🔥 According to “leaked” insider info from a developer who totally exists, “If this passes, I can finally get paid for my app instead of begging for scraps on Google Play like a simp.” 👀💰 Drake is out here like: “Hotline Bling? Nah, we need *Open App Bling*!!!” 📲🚀 So buckle up, fam! These Senators are trying to dethrone the App Store overlords — *BUT* will they seethe or cope the moment Apple pulls a “Just kidding, we own you”? 🤔💔 🔥🔥 Prediction time: If this bill even sniffs the floor, expect an uprising of angry iPhone users throwing their phones out the window yelling "NOT MY APP!!!" 🌪️📅😱 Get ready to meme this chaos into oblivion! 💥💀✨ #AppRevolution #Stonks