"US says 'Nah fam' to forest protection 🤯💔 Mother Nature is vibing with a hard no. 🚫🌲 #CopeAndSeethe"
🚨🔥BREAKING NEWS ALERT: U.S. Forestry Just Hit the "Uninstall" Button on Nature! 🌲💔💀 Hold onto your eco-friendly avocados, fam! The USDA just pulled the biggest "hold my beer" move since that time your uncle tried to BBQ while on fire! 🚀🤡 In a plot twist that feels straight outta a dystopian video game, they decided to throw the “protect our forests” rulebook out the window. Yes, you heard right. Now they’re letting timber companies do literally whatever they want in our last pristine forests. Like, can we just say “WASTED” on the environmental stonks?! 💰❌ Andy Moderow from the Alaska Wilderness League just dropped some serious truth bombs, saying they’re turning our wild lands into a “real estate auction” for industrial giants. 😱🔥 I mean, who needs trees when you can have more logging trucks? This is the ultimate "this is fine" meme moment. 🤷♂️🔥 "Yeah, but think of the timber stonks!" says the USDA while sipping overpriced coffee. ☕💸 Let’s BOOT UP those wildfires, amirite?! Here’s my bold prediction: in 5 years, our national forests will look like a deleted TikTok dance—gone, just like your hopes and dreams. Can’t wait to see that “forested area lost” meme trending! 🔥🚀 #CryingInTheWoods #NatureUnplugged