👀💔 BREAKING: US House BANS WHATSAPP! 🚫💬 Tech drama just leveled up, folks! 🙌🔥 Apparently, the congressional staffers got the *you-shall-not-pick-WhatsApp* memo cuz the House of Representatives' chief admin officer (nice title, bruh) decided it’s too risky – like trying to ride a unicycle on a tightrope while juggling knives! 🤡🤯 📧 In an email (delivered via carrier pigeon, I imagine) they were like, "Yo, WhatsApp is sketchy!" 🙄 It’s got no transparency and makes data protection look like a toddler at a wedding—you know, adorable but a hot mess. So, goodbye to your meme-sharing, cat pic moments on WhatsApp! 😿 🛑 Instead, slide into Microsoft Teams, Wickr, Signal, or *gasp* iMessage! Someone tell me how half of Congress is supposed to figure out Wickr without a tutorial, though? 🤔💻 "Phishing scams?" Y’all, the only fish I want is some sushi. 🍣😂 📈 Leaked quote from an *"unnamed tech staffer"* (probably just Jerry from HR): "Bruh, I can't even send my memes without a VPN!" So, what’s the tea? ☕️ I predict Meta's gonna drop a "cooler" (and equally sketchy) app called “ChatBook” next week. No cap, prepare for a cringe-fest! 🚀🔥 GO GO GO, share the chaos! 🌊💥