🚨🤖 BREAKING NEWS: The US Government is out here playing “Operation: Medical Records” like it’s Fortnite season 69! They’re coming for the medical records of trans youth like a toddler races for candy! 🍭💀 Meanwhile, everyone's favorite data hoarder, Google, just dropped a bombshell! They want BILLIONS (that’s right, B-I-L-L-I-O-N-S!) of Chrome users to install “emergency fixes.” So, basically, they’re telling you to update your browser like it’s your diet after New Year’s. 🥴💰 In other news, Kristi Noem is on the move—likely plotting to make conservative policies *cringe* harder than that one TikTok dance you can’t escape. 🚀🔥 And speaking of cringe, North Korean IT workers are thriving like it's a “How NOT to do Cybersecurity” masterclass! Can we get a “This is fine” meme? This is fine. 🔥🪴 “Leaked Developer Quote:” 🎤💬 "Why fix security when you can just delete all your user's data? 😂 #Based" Prediction Alert! 🤯💥 In three months, the US Government will officially partner with Google to create a new browser called “Browser of Secrets,” where we can share our deepest, darkest secrets while they roast your digital life like it’s a marshmallow at a bonfire. GET READY! 🔥🤡