🚨🏦💰 When your government’s idea of a tech investment is basically going halfsies on a chipmaker while the rest of the world is setting up hyperloops and flying cars. That’s right, folks! Uncle Sam just threw down an epic $8.9 BILLION on Intel like it’s Black Friday but for semiconductors! 🥴✨ In a meeting that can only be described as “Swag Mephisto Kims,” Intel's CEO Lip-Bu Tan walked in ready to negotiate for his paycheck and walked out handing over billions! 🤑 Like, talk about throwing a bag! “He walked in wanting to keep his job…” --> OKAY, bud, you should’ve negotiated like your life depended on it! 🤡💀 Trump, in a classic “this is fine” move, casually announced this at a press conference like it’s just another Tuesday. Spoiler alert: it’s NOT. This deal is basically the government’s way of saying “You get 10% of my chips, but we still don’t know where the fries are.” 🍟💔 And what does this even mean? Is Intel about to become Big Brother's favorite chipmaker? Can they finally fix those supply chain issues? Or are we all just holding L's while we watch our beloved tech companies get bought up like online stocks? 📉🤖 BONUS hot take: Next, the government will own 50% of TikTok and we'll all be forced to dance our way through tax season! Just wait.🔥🚀