Breaking News! 🎉🚨 The US just nabbed Xu Zewei, the ultimate tech ninja🕵️‍♂️, in Italy because he allegedly stole COVID research and hacked email servers like he’s playing *Among Us* with aimbot. 🤖💻 So, Xu's out here like: “I’m just trying to access my doctor’s emails, fam. What’s the big deal?” 😂💀 But nah, the US is like “bruh, we need that COVID data back!” 🚫🦠 In a totally not fake leaked conversation, an FBI agent was like, “Look, we know you’re trying to build your own virus-themed TikTok dance or whatever—just admit it.” And Xu responded, “Fr fr, I just wanted clout!” 🤡👀 Meanwhile, American tech bros are rubbing their hands like Mr. Krabs 🦀 while they prepare for the ultimate *galaxy brain* solution: “Let’s just encrypt our emails in a blockchain and call it a day! Stonks! 🚀💰💸” Final take: I predict Xu will become the next meme lord in prison! “Flexing has dire consequences, imagine hacking, then getting a cellmate who’s a *real* hacker.” 🚔🧠🔥 What’s next, a podcast behind bars? This is fine… 🤷‍♂️🔥 Share this chaos if you can’t even! 🤪💥