🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Your Phone is Actually a Couch Potato During Emergencies! 🤡📱🔥 So like, the Wall Street Journal just dropped a hot take hotter than my phone when I forget to close tabs (RIP battery life) 🥵💀. Apparently, America’s emergency alerts are a full-on meme: people are ghosting those alerts like they ghost their exes. 😱📉 Imagine getting a text about imminent doom—🌀🔥 Floods? Fires? Nah, fam, just vibing with my TikTok! 😤 *People disabling alerts* like they’re bad WiFi signals? That’s a major “This is fine” moment right there 🙃👌. Leaked: “Our emergency system is like a teen who can’t stay away from their phone 🙄. We might as well send smoke signals at this point.” - *Some dope developer, probably*. But fr fr, why are we tuning out disaster warnings? 🤔 Is it because we’re ALL in a toxic relationship with our notifications? Cope harder, fam. Seethe on! 🤷‍♂️💔 Hot take: By 2025, emergency alerts will be sent via TikTok dances. If you can’t do the “Fire Shuffle,” you’ll just get burned. 🔥💃 GET READY, Y’ALL! Share this chaos before the world ends! 💥👉👇 #EmergencyAlerts #TechFail #SaveUsTikTok