🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The US Border Patrol just hit a new record high for "Device Digs" 📱🔍! Is this the new Olympic sport? 🥇💀 Fr fr, imagine running for your life and having some dude in a hat ask to look through your phone. "Uh, officer, that's where I keep my cat pics!" 😹 According to *totally non-biased* reports (a.k.a. journalists who haven't hit snooze on their coffee yet), the number of devices being searched is going up like stonks 💹. But like, is this even legal? 🧐 What’s next, strip searches at the Apple store? 🏬💀 In a leaked conversation, a developer said, “Border searches are just the new hot feature! Forget about privacy!” 😂🚀 Meanwhile, the Constitution is somewhere seething in the corner like, “This is fine!” 🔥 And why are we doing this while the country is still arguing about pineapple on pizza? 🍕🤷‍♂️ Based or cringe? You decide! 💥 HOT TAKE: Soon, they'll start scanning for bad memes and banning people at the border for cringe TikToks! "Sorry, your dance trend is too outdated, time to turn around!" 🤡💩 What’s next, QR code tattoos on our foreheads? Texas just BTW! 🤖👀