🚨💥 Breaking News: Ultrahuman just merged with viO HealthTech like it’s the Avengers assembling to fight period pain! 💪👉💦 But hold up, we’re NOT in the Endgame yet! 😳💔 Introducing *Cycle and Ovulation Pro* - now you can track your monthly mood swings AND your PMS with the precision of a NASA mission control! 🚀💖 Just dropped for the low-low price of $3.99/month or $39.99/year—because nothing says “I love you, uterus” like a subscription model! 💰🤑 Imagine getting notifications like, “Girl, it’s almost that time!” 🤳 You know what they say: Stonks! 📈📉 No cap, you might as well start charging your friends for this “premium” info. *Leaked Developer Quote: “Honestly, we just wanted to make your cycle feel like a Netflix series, and maybe make a quick buck while we’re at it.”* 🤡💀 Meanwhile, Apple is over there like Drake pointing, "How do we make this overrated?" 🚫🍏 Meanwhile, Google’s probably building a new feature where it tracks your emotional state after your fave Netflix shows. 🥵🔥 Here’s the hot take: In 2024, your period tracker is gonna come with a side of meme recommendations while you deal with the 2am chocolate cravings. You heard it here first! 💥🌌 Share this or your cycle will be haunted! 👻📅🔮 #UltrahumanVibes