🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: UK to Apple: "You’re cool for now! 🍏✌️" But wait, that’s like telling Thanos "no" right before he snaps! 💥💀 According to spy mastermind & part-time dream-crusher, the U.S. National Intelligence Chief (yeah, that dude with the big hat), the UK just ghosted Apple on their plan for a backdoor 🤖🔑. Imagine complaining to your friend about wanting to steal their snacks, and they just say, "Nah, bruh, we’ll work it out." Like, what kind of half-measure is that? 🤡 In a “totally not staged” developer meeting, an Apple coder was overheard muttering, "No cap, we can't just build a backdoor; have y'all seen my Twitter feed? I need to cope with this backlash!" So true, fam! 🔥🔥 And can we talk about Tulsi Gabbard (ultimate meme lord) jumping in with Trump and Vice President JD Vance like a weird collab nobody asked for? Fr fr, we’re living in a sponsor-meeting gone wrong! 🤯🤡 Here’s the hot take: Next, Apple will drop a feature that turns your phone into a spy drone while you sleep! 📱💰 EATS, SLEEPS, SPY REVEAL, REPEAT! 😎🚀 *stares into the void, convinced this is the new iOS update*