🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: UK and France are teaming up to drop a whopping €1.5B 💰 on a satellite called Eutelsat, aka Europe’s answer to Starlink. 🌌💪 Now, if you’re thinking, “who even is Eutelsat?” Don’t worry, you're not alone! 😅 It sounds like a knockoff energy drink that doesn’t even give you the buzz. ✈️ France is all in with €717M (that’s stonks, fam) while the UK chimes in with €163M like it’s a game show where everyone loses. 🤡 Emmanuel Macron thanked his "British friends" like they just saved him a space on the couch while binge-watching "This Is Fine." 🔥 But here’s the kicker: *Eutelsat is IN DEBT.* 💀 It’s like trying to get a loan for a spaceship without having a driver's license! Imagine the boardroom meetings: “So we’re basically just throwing money at this satellite like it’s a TikTok dance challenge?" 😳 Developers are probably saying “Let’s just slap a new coat of paint on it and hope for the best!” 🎨 🌌🔥 HOT TAKE: Forget satellites; the future is gonna be sending messages via carrier pigeons – at least they won’t crash and burn like Eutelsat! 🚀 Who's with me? 🕊️