🕵️‍♂️💥🔥 BREAKING: UK prosecutors just dropped the most scandalous tea on our favorite Russian-themed arsonist! 🎭💀 In 2024, lil' buddy was out here trying to pull a *Mission: Impossible* on Revolut’s CEO, Nikolay “Not Today” Storonsky! 💳🕍 Serious question: Did this 21-year-old think he was auditioning for an Ethan Hunt role or just trying to level up on that Russian roulette? 🎢🎭 Either way, bro thought he could burn it down and kidnap a CEO like it’s a TikTok challenge 🚀🤡. Imagine discussing burning businesses and “Oh yeah, let’s just snag that guy while we’re at it” on a casual Tuesday! UK prosecutors are low-key the FBI version of Batman right now - taking out the trash one arsonist at a time. 🦸‍♂️💼 But honestly, why kidnap the CEO? Just offer him a strong latte and a terrible PowerPoint! ☕️✨ 📈 Hot take: In a plot twist, Storonsky is secretly a time traveler from 2025 and plans to drop the ultimate crypto bomb on this generation. Get ready for a "Revolut your life" mega-update on the next episode of *Real Life Entrepreneur* 💰🌌. Share if you can smell the chaos! 🤯🔥 #CryptoKidnappers #StonksAndScones