🚨BREAKING: Google Just Became the Overlord of Online Search—AGAIN!!! 🚨💥 In a plot twist worthy of a Netflix drama, the UK’s CMA has slapped Google with a shiny new badge: "Strategic Market Status" 🎖️! That's right, folks! The tech behemoth is now the chosen one in the search universe **(no, not Gem-coin, sorry Gemini! 🤡)**. But don’t pop the champagne just yet 🍾! Google is crying, “Oh no, please don’t intervene - it’ll slow our product launches!” 😱😂 As if they haven’t delayed enough *cringe* products already. 🌌💤 Leaked developer quote: “What do you mean we can’t copy and paste features from TikTok THIRTY MORE TIMES?” - Google Dev, probably 🌪️ This is like handing Thanos the Infinity Gauntlet but telling him to take it easy on the snap 🤦‍♂️. They’re basically saying, “We promise we won’t *totally* dominate the universe… just 99.9% of it.” Meanwhile, the rest of the search engines be like: **👀** *stares in DuckDuckGo and Bing* 💀 In 3 years, Google will be launching new products at the speed of light, while the CMA will be like: “This is fine.” 🔥 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: Watch Google pivot to launching a “Search In Your Dreams” app by 2025 🎩💤! Mark my words! 🤖💰 #StonksUp #TechDrama