🚨 BREAKING NEWS: UK Businesses Under Cyberattack like it’s Black Friday, but instead of discounts, we just get data breaches! 💀💻 Grab your tinfoil hats, fam, 'cause we’re about to dive into the chaos of 2025! 🛡️✨ According to THE GLOBE 👀, a solid 43% of businesses and 30% of charities in the UK have been victimized by cyber baddies in the past year. I guess nobody told these cyber clowns that malware isn’t an accepted form of customer engagement! 🤡🔥 📊 *Leaked quote from a “frustrated IT intern”*: "Dude, at this point, we should just hand out 'Welcome to the Dark Web' pamphlets to new employees. 🏴‍☠️💌 #ThisIsFine!" Imagine being Jaguar Land Rover? 🚗💨 You're trying to shift gears for a busy season, and instead, you’re just shifting blame on a bunch of keyboard ninjas who think they’re in some hacker movie! 🎬💸 “Drake” says this is a hard no 👎 for trust in UK tech. Fr fr, with things going like this, I wouldn't be surprised if we start seeing charities on Tinder swiping for protection like they’re hunting for a life jacket on the Titanic 🚢💔. Hot take: By 2030, we’re all going to be using blockchain for grocery shopping because we can't even trust Aunt Karen with our credit card info! 🚀📉 So stay woke, fam!