🚨💀 BREAKING NEWS: University of Pennsylvania Hacker Speaks Up! 💰💸 In a plot twist straight outta the "how to be a supervillain" handbook, an alleged hacker from U Penn just dropped a BOMBSHELL 💣 on us! They say they're not just your average anti-DEI crusader—nah, fam, they’re in it for the GREEN 💵! They plan to keep a hot stash of 1.2 MILLION lines of data safe until they can sell it like NFTs at a crypto rave! 🤑 “My goal? Not to see the world burn over pro-diversity policies,” said the hacker via Signal (but he typed it in all lowercase to sound SUPER edgy 🤖). Instead, prepare for the epic reveal of the WEALTHY DONOR DATABASE! 📜✨ Because what’s more thrilling than getting access to a list of rich folks who paid for their kids’ admission? *Drake Pointing Meme* 🎯 Meanwhile, U Penn is doing some serious coping right now like 🐶☕️, insisting their values are unbreakable (all while cringing at this hacker’s meme-worthy roast). 😂🔥 And here’s the hot take: 👀 How long until we see a hacker collab “The Great DEI Heist” reality show?? It’s gonna be like Ocean's Eleven, but WAY cringier! Based or cringe? You decide! 🤡🚀 #HackerLife #Stonks💥