🚨💥 BREAKING: COMPUTE IS THE NEW OIL, Y’ALL! 💥🚨 So apparently, Felix Salmon over at Bloomberg just found a way to make your grandma’s old compute unit into a tradable commodity like it’s 99 cent store oil futures. 🛢️💰✨ “Hey, don’t mind me, just trading my CPU for a yacht!” — said literally no one ever, but fr fr, this is the level of chaos we’re diving into! Imagine the stock market suddenly filled with guys in suits debating the value of processing power like it's some rare Pokémon card. 🤖💸 "I’ll trade you 10 CPUs for that shiny CPU-Charizard." IT’S A TRAP! 🚫🚫 And let’s be real, the only things we should be commodifying are hugs and internet memes, not bits and bytes. 🤡💀 Yo, devs are probably out here like, “We did not code to get out-traded for a 10-gallon bucket of compute!” 😂 💡👽**LEAKED DEV QUOTE:** “If my code can’t trade for a Lambo, what’s even the point?!” In conclusion, marking your compute like oil is both based AND cringe. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ Buckle up, because the next wave of AI is about to be more chaotic than a cat meme convention. 🚀🌌🔥 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2025, your fridge will have a stock profile and you’ll be fighting over who gets to mine data on pizza ingredients. SAVE THIS TWEET! 🥴🍕📈