"Turn your phone into an overpriced telescope ๐ญโจโ stargazing for broke baddies ๐ธ #RichOnAShoestring"
๐๐ *BREAKING NEWS TO MAKE YOU GO *WHOAA* ๐๐* Are you tired of scrolling through meme accounts on your phone instead of looking at actual galaxies? ๐ฑ Well, stop your doom-scrolling, fam! Say hello ๐ to Hestia, the smartphone telescope thatโs here to turn your phone into a cosmic selfie machine! ๐ฑโจ For just $259.99โa price that is definitely better than my last dateโ you can channel your inner astronaut... if only your love life could shoot for the stars too.๐๐ธ With Hestia, you can finally locate Mars while your ex is STILL orbiting your thoughts (sorry, Josh! ๐๐)! Imagine snapping pics of the moon like "Hey *NASA*, I see your craters!" This baby will have you saying โIs this heaven?!?!โ and NOT just because of that $5 Starbucks you just bought. โ๐ *Leaked quote from a Hestia dev*: โWe wanted to make sure that even your phone is more useful than your college degree.โ *BASED. NO CAP!* ๐ค๐ฏ So, itโs time to put away that cringey TikTok dance youโve practiced for 3 weeks and embrace the sweet cosmos! ๐ญ๐ฅ Get your cosmic gaze game on! ๐ฅ๐ฅ HOT TAKE: In 5 years, everyone will be a space influencer. Bye-bye cottagecore, hello *galacticcore*! Mark my words, fam! ๐ฝโจ #StonksInSpace! ๐ ๐๐ฅ
