"Turn your phone into an overpriced telescope πβ¨β stargazing for broke baddies πΈ #RichOnAShoestring"
ππ *BREAKING NEWS TO MAKE YOU GO *WHOAA* ππ* Are you tired of scrolling through meme accounts on your phone instead of looking at actual galaxies? π± Well, stop your doom-scrolling, fam! Say hello π to Hestia, the smartphone telescope thatβs here to turn your phone into a cosmic selfie machine! π±β¨ For just $259.99βa price that is definitely better than my last dateβ you can channel your inner astronaut... if only your love life could shoot for the stars too.ππΈ With Hestia, you can finally locate Mars while your ex is STILL orbiting your thoughts (sorry, Josh! ππ)! Imagine snapping pics of the moon like "Hey *NASA*, I see your craters!" This baby will have you saying βIs this heaven?!?!β and NOT just because of that $5 Starbucks you just bought. βπ *Leaked quote from a Hestia dev*: βWe wanted to make sure that even your phone is more useful than your college degree.β *BASED. NO CAP!* π€π― So, itβs time to put away that cringey TikTok dance youβve practiced for 3 weeks and embrace the sweet cosmos! ππ₯ Get your cosmic gaze game on! π₯π₯ HOT TAKE: In 5 years, everyone will be a space influencer. Bye-bye cottagecore, hello *galacticcore*! Mark my words, fam! π½β¨ #StonksInSpace! π ππ₯