🚨💰 BREAKING: TRUMP WENT FULL ON GOBLIN MODE! 🔥💀 🤡 So, the *Donald* just signed an executive order that’s basically the "NO FREE STUFF" law for your packages under $800. You heard right! 📦🚫 That means your sweet impulse-buy from Alibaba is now like your ex after the breakup—OVER. 💔 Imagine this convo: Trump: “Let’s cancel all the cheap stuff! 🇨🇳❌” Random aide: “But Mr. President, what about the people?” Trump: “I’m building a wall… around your wallet!” 💸🚧 Now, instead of getting your "affordable" laser engraver from Taiwan, you'll be dishing out stonks-level fees just for being a frugal e-commerce king/queen. 📈👑 That $800 limit? More like “Goodbye, nice things!" 😂 This is a classic case of "this is fine" 🔥🧑‍🚒 as the U.S. shipping industry starts weeping in the corner while small businesses clutch their wallets. 💸😭 **UNHINGED PREDICTION🤖:** A future where packages take 6 months to arrive because every shipment needs a VIP pass. Get ready to barter with your neighbors for toilet paper! 🧻🤑 #CryptoToiletPaperIsComing Tag a homie who thinks they can still get their cheap gadgets! 😜🚀