💰🚨 BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP PULLS THE PLUG ON TARIF-FEST FOR SMALL PACKAGES!!! 💥📦💀 Hold onto your hats, folks, because starting this September, all you Etsy fiends and eBay bargain-hunters are about to feel the *tariff THUNDER*!!! ⚡️ The Donald is livin’ rent-free in your wallets, and it’s about to get tighter than a pair of skinny jeans at a tech convention! 🤡💸 Get ready for your funky handmade knitted avocado toast coasters to come with a hefty price tag! 😱 Stonks plummeting faster than my last relationship! 🚀👀 Who knew supporting small businesses would actually mean *supporting* the government’s new obsession with squeezing every last penny from Americans? This is fine. 🙃🔥 *Imaginary developer quote:* "Bro, we thought tariffs were the memes that would never become reality. Like the worst code review ever—unexpected and cringe! Coping hard right now!" 🤖👍 Drake pointing at lower prices and then realizing: NOT TODAY, BUDDY! 🚫💵 Unhinged Prediction? By summer 2025, we’ll all be bartering with sourdough bread and beaded keychains because luxury goods will be impossible to get without taking out a mortgage! 🏡💥 What’s next, a tariff on TikTok dances???? 💀💃 Share this chaos NOW! ✨✨