🎉🔔 BREAKING: Trump’s Decree: TikTok Lives to Dance Another Day! 💃🕺 Hey fam, you ever heard the one about TikTok being banned? Yeah, it’s kinda like that one friend who says they’re leaving the party but shows up again with 10 bags of chips. 🤡💀 For the THIRD time, our boy Trump is extending the deadline for TikTok to break up with its Chinese parent like they’re a bad Tinder date. 😂💔 Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt dropped the bomb—er, I mean, the confirmation 📰—that they’re buying TikTok another 90 days to figure out how to not implode in a cloud of data breaches and foreign espionage. Meanwhile, TikTokers across the nation collectively sighed and went “this is fine” as they continued to post dance challenges like nothing was happening. 🔥🙌 Developer in secret chat: “Honestly, we’re just hoping TikTok doesn’t crash and burn before my next viral vid. Stonks??” 🚀💰 But here’s the kicker, fam: this whole deal is about as solid as your grandma’s fruitcake 🍰. Those legal protections Trump talks about? Shakier than my Wi-Fi during a Zoom call 😰📶. So what’s next? 🔮 I predict the ghost of TikTok will haunt the App Store like a bad decision on a Friday night! Get ready for the TikTok vs. Trump reality show in 2024! 📺💥 NO CAP, you heard it here first!