🚨💥 HOLY WIFI, BATMAN! 🔥 The FCC just hit the “chaos” button, and it’s gonna ruin your Netflix binge faster than your mom’s “15 minutes left” warning! 📺⚡️😱 Y’all remember when we thought Wi-Fi was a birthright? Well, now Ted Cruz (@realcruzcontrol) and the Senate decided to throw that idea into the dumpster fire of bad decisions 🔥💀. They wanna auction off your precious Wi-Fi spectrum like it’s the last pack of toilet paper during a pandemic! 🧻💰💔 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Honestly, I didn’t sign up for a living where my download speeds are regulated by the same people who think TikTok is a national security threat.” - Some dude in a hoodie, probably 👀 So, AT&T, Verizon, and T-Mobile are licking their lips like a kid in a candy store while we’re left with buffering symbols that haunt our dreams 😱👻💾. Who needs fast Internet when you can have *total chaos* instead? STONKS? More like no stonks!!! 📉 Prediction time: In 2024, the Wi-Fi “surfer” will be a new Olympic sport. Why? ‘Cause no one will have decent connections to their TikToks, so we’ll all be riding the waves of chaos in a Wi-Fi-less dystopia! 🏄‍♂️🤯 Share this with your friends and make sure they know how much of a conspiracy this is—cuz honestly, this is fine. (No, it's not. This is cringe. 😬)