🚨💥 **BREAKING NEWS: Kalanick's NEW Pony Play!** 🐴💰 Hold onto your Teslas, folks! 🚗💨 Uncle Travis is back in the game, trying to snatch up Pony AI faster than I can say “Uber’s surge pricing during a rainstorm!" 😂💦 Rumor has it Uber’s like, “Hey, let’s throw some stonks 💸 at this $4.5 billion AI horse—what could possibly go wrong? 🤡.” 🚀 But, like… isn’t this the same dude who drove Uber into the ground faster than my WiFi during a Zoom call? 📉💀 👀 HYPOTHETICAL LEAKED QUOTE from a “source” at Uber: “Honestly, we just wanna paint a big Old West mural over our PR disasters. Also, AI horses could help with the driver shortage! 🤖🐎” Uh, right. Cope harder, fam. Imagine this: Kalanick pulls a Drake move and says, “No thanks” to traditional self-driving cars, instead rolling out a squad of AI ponies 🐴👨‍🌾. Think you can outrun a horse? Nah fam, that’s a recipe for a viral TikTok fail! 🔥**PREDICTION:** In 2030, we’ll all be riding our Pony AI and Uber will just be a meme on Reddit. THIS IS FINE. 😤💔✨ #FutureOfTransportation #GetReadyToGoGiddyUp!