🎉🚀 BREAKING NEWS: AT&T Just Took the "T" Outta TV! 🤡💔 So listen up fam, fresh outta the oven: PE firm TPG just threw down a staggering *$7.6 BILLION* clams to snatch the last 70% of DirecTV out of AT&T's grasp! That’s right, you heard me! AT&T is officially ghosting media like it’s an ex on social! 💰✌️ 💡 *Leaked Developer Quotes:* "Bro, we tried to revive DirecTV like it was a zombie movie, but AT&T just kept hitting us with cringe-level decisions. Now we're just going full stonks mode!" - Some random dev with a feed full of cat memes. 😹 AT&T now has about as much media presence as Blockbuster on a Friday night. This is the equivalent of your friend bragging about their new gaming rig while you're still addicted to Solitaire. 📉💀 *Drake pointing meme*: Invest in literally anything ELSE! 🔥 So what’s my hot take? This partnership might just usher in a new era of TV where they’ll just throw random episodes of *Friends* on a 24/7 loop. I mean, that’s what the people REALLY want, right? 🤷‍♂️ Buckle up, folks, cause the *chaos* is just getting started! 🌪️💥