🚨🎉 *BREAKING: The Touch Bar MacBook You Didn't Know You Wanted in 2017 is NOW* CHEAP! 💸💻 Hold up, fam! Are you tired of your grandma's 2008 laptop? Want to *flex* on all your Zoom calls with some retro vibes? Well, grab your wallets because the *MacBook Pro 13" (2017)* is dropping to a mind-blowing *$499.99* and it's TIME TO HUSTLE! 🚀🔥 Picture this: you rocking the Touch Bar like it’s 2017, while everyone else is still scrolling through TikTok on their low-key cringe devices! 🤡💔 The only touch bar you need is the one that says "I'm not broke!" 😤💰 Developer quote leak: “We had to make it affordable before it became a vintage collectible. Literally no one asked for a Touch Bar, but here we are.” - Some guy in Cupertino 🏢💀 And word on the street is: this MacBook will *literally* make you the king/queen of your coworking space! 👑👩‍💻 Just remember to be cool, or else you’ll just be the person who bought the “old school” model *because they couldn't afford the new one.* *Seethe!* ☠️ *UNHINGED PREDICTION* 🔮: At this rate, by 2025, we’ll all be using Commodore 64s with USB-C adapters and calling it a *"vintage aesthetic!"* Stonks? NOPE. Stonks going *down!* 👇🤔