🚽💦 **Toilet Talk: The Future of Hydration (or “Why is My Toilet Judging Me?!”)** 💦🚽 Y’all ever feel like your life is just a bad sitcom episode? Well, welcome to your new reality where your toilet is not just a porcelain throne but also a hydration coach. Kohler just decided to roll *literally* where no John has rolled before and launched the Dekoda, a fancy sensor that’s basically your toilet’s Instagram! 📸🤯 Imagine this: You sit down for a peaceful moment and BAM 💥, your toilet starts giving you health advice like “Yo, DRINK MORE WATER, you dehydrated raisin!” 🥴🔮💧 Like fr fr, is this even a thing? Do we need our bathrooms doubling as life coaches now?! But wait, there's more! The Dekoda uses *spectroscopy* (sounds fancy, huh?) and a mini camera, analyzing your *ahem* deposits 💩 like a lab nerd on a mission. Can we not have a camera in my bathroom for once? This is a hard no, G! 😅👀 Imagine the horror: “Hey bestie, just finished some good ol' fiber? Time to hydrate!” Here’s the *real* tea: Soon your toilet is gonna start charging you for “under-hydration” penalties. 💵💀 You’ll be like “stonks” when your bank account hits zero because you’re being judged by your commode! *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We just wanted to monitor her hydration levels, but now she’s talking back.” 🤖💔 In conclusion: Why are we letting toilets take the reins on health? Next, they’ll probably request a personal trainer for all the *heavy lifting* they do. 🚀🔥 Unhinged Prediction: 2025— toilets will be making TikToks about gut health! #Toilet