🚨🔍 **BREAKING NEWS: Apple’s Corporate Reality Show!** 🍏📺 DID YOU HEAR? Tim Cook is playing the role of the last adult in the room while his team of gray-haired wizards heads for the comfy retirement home! 💀🏡 Must be nice to trade in your Apple badge for a permanent spot on a sunny beach with those juicy dividends. “Hey Tim, how does it feel to operate a company while your crew is aging like fine wine... that's been left open too long?” 🤡💔 But wait, there’s MORE! 📉🔪 They’re pulling the old “no cap” maneuver by scaling back that iOS 26 Liquid Glass revamp. Liquid glass? More like liquid *nope*! 🤦‍♂️ Just in time for everyone to get hyped and then... crickets. 🦗 And if that’s not enough drama for you, Meta’s snatching up Apple’s AI wizard like a kid at a candy store! 🍬💰 “Hey, can I borrow your best wizard?” “Sure, as long as you don’t invent a social network for your grandma!” 😂 In the end, prepare yourselves: the future of Apple might just be Tim Cook playing solitaire while deciding if iOS should be *User Friendly* or *Snooze Fest 3000*. 🔥😵‍💫 ✨ **Hot Take:** In 2025, Apple will drop an “iStick” that’s just a stick with a lightning port on one end. All those execs are taking bets on who’s buying it! 📈 #stonks