🚨🍏BREAKING: Tim Cook Brings Battery Life Drama to Corning Factory 🍏🚨 Gather 'round tech nerds, because Timmy Cook just turned a trip to a glass factory into a *thriller* 🎭—and by “thriller,” I mean he talked battery life like it’s 2020 and we’re still waiting for airplanes to get Wi-Fi. I won't lie, I almost fell asleep at my desk. 🥱💤 In an exclusive convo with Jim “I’m always yelling about stocks” Cramer, Cook legit said that Apple is pouring more cash into Corning than I have in my Venmo after a wild weekend. 💸💸 “Investing in battery life,” he mumbled while staring at his iPhone like it just spilled his secret calendar 👀. But, let’s be real: Apple users been out here like 'this is fine' while their *fully charged* iPhone dies faster than my hopes after reading an “iPhone Air” announcement. 🤡💀🔥 🎉💰“Yeah, we’re working on it, no cap,” said a *completely real* leaker who totally watches anime: “But *fr*, we’re saving battery for the iPhone 17 so you can FaceTime during a blackout.” Brace yourselves, fam: the next iPhone will run on optimism and fairy dust. 🚀✨ *Hot Take*: In the next 5 years, charging will become a luxury service, and we’ll be like, “That’s a 15% battery charge in 2025? Stonks!” 📈😱 Share this chaos or Tim will personally deliver an iPhone that only works during thunderstorms! ☔👻💥