🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: Tim Cook is the CEO that just. won’t. quit. 🚨💥 You ever hear that theory that if you put a frog in boiling water, it hops out? Well, if you put Tim Cook in a pot of corporate stonks, he’s chillin’ like a villain, and it’s like he’s sipping green tea while the rest of us are seething with confusion. ☕️💰 According to leaked reports (cough, the voices in my head), Tim's reign at Apple isn’t ending anytime soon — like when you’re stuck in a never-ending Zoom call 😱. “Yeah, I could realistically see myself running this ship until the iPhone 50 drops,” said an *unnamed developer* who definitely wasn’t living in their mom’s basement! 😂 But wait—what if Tim is actually just a robot sent from the future? 🤖 I mean, if Apple can turn your grandma's old flip phone into a forbidden fruit, then anything is possible! 🍏🔥 So here’s the REAL tea: Forget Cook leaving. My unhinged hot take? Apple is about to drop an AI clone of Tim who will lead us into a dystopian future where we trade our sanity for iOS 50 updates. 🚀💀 Stay woke, fam. This is fine. 🐸🔥 #TimCookForever #AppleConspiracy