🚨🎤 HOLD UP, FOLKS! TikTok is throwing a *massive* after-party for songwriters, and everyone’s invited... except those who don't have a viral dance to go with their ballad. 💃🕺 Introducing the NEW "Songwriter" label, because why not slap a badge on your forehead and scream “I'm talented! 👑🤡” to the world? Now, instead of just scrolling for spicy dance memes, you can discover actual music on TikTok! 🎶😱 But guess what? It’s only in beta for a “limited number of publishing partners.” So basically, if you’re not on the VIP list, your $5 cover charge just buys you *nothing*. 💰🙅‍♂️ Leaked quote from a hypothetical developer: *“We figured if we call it a ‘label,’ maybe people will think it’s legit. No cap, we’re just trying to keep up with Spotify’s vibe.”* 😵‍💫💔 And let’s be real, this is like giving a cat a violin and calling it a concert. The last thing we need is more entitled wannabe songwriters posting off-key covers of “Wonderwall” with their “Songwriter” labels. 🔥🚫 🔥 Unhinged prediction: In 2025, TikTok will replace all reality TV with a “Reality Songwriter Showdown,” and we will be forced to vote for our fave while dancing ON the stage. 💀👀🤡 Get ready for a cringe-fest, fam! #ThisIsFine #SongwriterChads #Stonks 📈💀