Wake up, sleepwalkers! 😴💥 TikTok just pulled a *double whammy* and merged its Core Product and Trust & Safety teams! It's like if your favorite snack bar *and* your mom's safety warnings finally decided to hit the club together. 🎉🍫🍎 🚨💀 In a shocking turn of events, Adam Presser (not a meme, actual dude) leveled up to GM of TikTok USDS, aka the last line of defense against the inevitable Chinese robot invasion 👾🤖. The real question is: do we trust him with our national secrets or just our cringiest dance moves? 🤔😅 One dev whispered, "It's like combining a rocket scientist with a cat meme—total chaos but possible genius." 🧠✨ Meanwhile, TikTok is like the meme version of a Tinder date: "Swipe right if you want to keep your personal data safe... or, like, just swipe left and pray for the best." 🌍🔥 So what’s the verdict? Will TikTok keep us entertained while safeguarding our secrets, or will we all end up in the “This is fine” meme? 🤷‍♂️🔥 **Prediction:** In 5 years, TikTok will literally turn into the CIA with dance challenges as training exercises. *Stonks* or nah? 💰💀