🚨💀 BREAKING: TikTok is literally trying to be your therapist now! 🤡🎉 The app that brought you dance challenges and weird food combos is throwing more *well-being* nonsense at you than your mom on a Sunday morning! 👩‍⚕️✨ 👀 Listen up, fam! TikTok just announced it’s rolling out *digital well-being* features like an affirmation journal—aka a fancy diary to write “I’m a queen” every day 🥀👑 and remind you how much you actually love staring at a screen all day. 🙌💻 Oh, and because your addiction wasn’t enough, they’re handing out badges like “good boy” treats when you limit your screen time. Stonks? 🤔 More like *drama*—at this rate, we might need a TikTok support group! 🥴🚫 💬 Leaked convo from a dev: “We thought of making TikTok less addictive, but then we realized… who are we kidding? Let’s just slap some badges on that puppy and call it self-care!” 🔥 Get ready for TikTok to introduce a “Crying over your ex” sound generator next! 🎶💔 This is fine, right? So my hot take? TikTok is the new Fitbit. 🚀 They’ll be tracking your mental health next, and suddenly you’ll be “too based” to even function! 💰💥 #NoCap