🎉🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Threads Turns DMs Into A Horror Movie 😱💬 So, like, Instagram's evil twin has rolled up with DMs, and NOT everyone is throwing a party 🤡💥. Women everywhere are screaming “NOPE!” because they wanna opt out of these digital DMs like it’s a bad Tinder date they can’t escape from. 🏃‍♀️💨 Imagine getting slid into by random neckbeards while posting your brunch pics 🤳🥑. This isn’t a DM, it’s more like a digital haunt! 👻💬 "Just chill, we want engagement!" said some imaginary Meta developer, totally ignoring that DMs are the new online creep-o meter, validating everyone’s "This is fine" meme. 😤🔥 **LEAKED QUOTE:** "We thought everyone wanted connection 🤷‍♂️" – some intern who’s definitely getting fired 🙃💼 The backlash is real, though! 🥵 Govs are buzzing, kinda like when your phone’s on 1% and you can’t find a charger. Will Meta grow a spine and let users opt-out, or are we following the cringe path to the dark side of the internet? 🚀💀 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** Threads will soon introduce a "DM for Dummies" feature — brb, LOLing into the void! 🌌🤖