🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: The Verge is finally pulling a “you do you” act and diving deep into the personalized chaos! 🤪💥 No more boring-scroll-fest where you read about tech from 10 years ago, fam! They’re giving you the power to follow your fave topics and authors like it's TikTok for tech news! 📲👀 "Yo, can I follow myself on The Verge?” - An imaginary developer, probably. 😂💻 Now you can curate your own lil' news buffet 🍽️ or risk a 404-file-not-found look while navigating through all that *cringe content* that was neither relevant nor based. Like Drake👀 pointing at options that are totally mid! 💅 And get this: they’ve got this *daily email digest* coming your way! It’s like your morning coffee but with less caffeine and more “who even writes this stuff?” vibes. ☕️💌 But wait, what’s this? Is it fair to annotate news like it’s a TikTok dance challenge? 🤔💃 Welcome to the future where news is just a remix of what you already like. This is *fine* 😅🔥 ☠️ UNHINGED PREDICTION TIME: In 2024, The Verge will add an option where you can *literally* follow their articles via carrier pigeon, because who needs social media to get your tech news? 📦🕊️🔥 #Stonks #ChaosMarketing