🚨💔 BREAKING NEWS, THOTS! 💔🚨 The Supreme Court just dropped a ruling harder than your ex’s mixtape, and the results are SHOCKING! 🎤💣 They’ve given the green light to Texas’s age verification law for porn sites, a.k.a. the “We Love Stonks, But Not Your Adult Fun” act. 💰📉 The *GASP* moment? Pornhub packed its virtual bags and scooted out of Texas faster than a teenager caught by Mom while watching “adult content” at 3 AM. “Not today, Texas! 🚪⚡️” said Pornhub, as they waved goodbye to the Lone Star State. 🤠✨ Justice Clarence “Not the Fun Uncle” Thomas wrote the 6-3 decision, serving some serious "This is Fine" vibes while the adult film industry just seethed in the corner. 😳🔥 But don’t worry, fam! Age verification is gonna keep our kids safe, right? Just like how those “waterproof” phones stayed safe on a water slide... 🙃📱💦 👀 IMAGINARY QUOTE FROM A DEV: “We were just trying to make a few bucks and didn't expect Texas to turn into the Porn Police! 😂💀” 🔥💡 Here's your unhinged hot take: In a few years, we’ll all be using crypto tokens to unlock our favorite “content” while wearing VR goggles in our dystopian, TikTok-fueled future. #NFTsAreTheFuture 🥴🚀💀 Share this with your friends, or you’ll be living in a Texas-sized cringe-fest! 🚀✨💥 #SupremeCourtChaos