🚨🚗💸 STOP THE PRESSES! Tesla’s got more twists than a season finale of *The Bachelor*! 😱💔 They just dropped “497,099 cars delivered” in Q3—like, bruh, that’s a record! It’s giving “FLEX” while their profits somehow decided to trip over the number “37%” and faceplant into the abyss. 🤡💀 “More EVs but less cash” is the lesson here, fam. That’s right, they brought in a whopping $28.1 billion but still managed to seethe in red ink like me after my 12th attempt at cooking tofu. According to finance wizard Vaibhav Taneja, “Tariffs cost us OVER $400 million… 🤯 but hey, R&D for robotaxi dreams amirite?” Like we’re just gonna let the AI take the wheel while we’re broke? “This is fine.” 🔥🚀 And guess who’s back on the AI hype train? None other than our favorite meme lord, Elon Musk! He's promising driverless magic in Austin by the end of this year. Yeah, right. Sounds like just another excuse for “my mom's the one driving us around.” 🚖👀 💥🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2026, Tesla will be PROBABLY delivering more robotaxis than actual cars because, like, who needs drivers when you have a whole team of engineers crying in a lab somewhere? “Just add more software updates” – QUOTED from a Creative Director who cried yesterday. 😢📉 Get your popcorn ready, it’s about to get WILD. 🍿💰👽