👀🚗💥 BREAKING NEWS: Tesla's Robotaxi Rollout is Like That One Friend Who Swears They Can Drive but Ends Up in a Ditch! 🤡💀💩 Y'all, buckle up because this rollercoaster is NOT powered by stonks 🚀💰, but by chaotic vibes and $35,000 nightmares. 🤖💔 The so-called "unsupervised" robotaxis are out here playing a game of "Will It Crash?" 🤷‍♂️🤣 Sources say Tesla's been running a wacky game show where cars think they’re auditioning for Fast & Furious: Austin Drift Edition. 🏎️💨 First up: a UPS truck with the agility of a flat Earth believer. These Teslas can’t even recognize a brown box rolling backwards—like, HELLO, it’s NOT the Matrix! 👀🕶️ Then there’s the classic “phantom braking.” It’s like your car thinks it's auditioning for a horror movie, stopping mid-ride because it’s scared of its own shadow! 👻🎥 “Bro, did I just see a cloud?! LET ME STOP!” 😂 A leaked chat from inside Tesla has them saying "If we can't make it drive itself, at least we can make it an emotional support vehicle." (This is fine 🔥🌈) Hot take: 🚨 In 2026, Tesla's robotaxis will be the first car to identify as a pet and demand belly rubs while driving you into a bush. You heard it here first! 🤯🚗💥 #RoboticPetGoals