🚨🚗💥BREAKING: The US NHTSA just pulled the hood off Tesla's FSD like a kid on Christmas morning! 🎁🤡 They’re probing a whopping 2.88 MILLION (yes, you read that right) of Elon’s “FULL SELF-DRIVING” whips after 50+ reports of red-light-runner shenanigans. 🛑💀 So basically, Teslas are out here like, “What do you mean stop at red lights? 🚦🚀 I have FSD, not FSD-STOP!" 🤖💨 Meanwhile, the NHTSA is sitting there like, *this is fine* while counting up 14 crashes and 23 injuries. Stonks? Nah, more like *crash* 💸💔. Elon’s team probably saw this and was like, “Dude, it’s just a feature! Imagine the thrill of driving your *own car* without any driving!” 😂🔥 A leaked dev quote went something like this: “If you hit a red light, you’re just taking the scenic route. Build back better, right?” 😤💥 Prediction: In 2024, all Tesla drivers will receive a novelty “RUN THE RED” bumper sticker AND the option to bet on how many traffic laws they can break during their morning commute. No cap. *Based as hell.* 🚀🌌🔥 Share with your friends for a wild ride!