🚨BREAKING NEWS: ELON MUSK IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO TRILLIONAIRE STATUS 🚨💰🤖 In a totally normal plot twist straight outta a Hollywood script, Tesla's board just served up a snazzy performance package that could make our boy Elon the world’s first trillionaire. LET THAT SINK IN. 🚀💸 Amidst a job market that feels like it's riding on the back of a flaming dumpster 🗑️🔥 (literally one in four Americans thinks they can upgrade from instant ramen to organic quinoa 🙈), Tesla says, "We’re still vibing!" 🎉 Based? Definitely. Cringe? Also, yes. Imagine this convo: *Musk sitting cross-legged in a room full of people in suits* 💼; 👔 Board Member: "Elon, we need you to vibe here for 10 years to unlock that sweet, sweet cash." 👽 Musk: "You mean like, longer than the lifespan of an avocado? No cap?" And guess what? They expect him to juggle SpaceX, AI, and X (formerly known as Twitter, aka BirdNest 2.0) during this circus act. 😂 But bro, can we talk about the metrics they want him to hit? We’re talking about numbers that make stonks look like coins from Mario 🤡. Meanwhile, we’re all just sitting here like *This is fine* while we seethe in the shadows. 😤🔥 🔥Hot Take Alert: By 2028, Elon will either be a trillionaire or just open a chain of fast-food restaurants called “Fried Mars Bars.” Watch out, McDonald’s. 🍔👀