"TechCrunch Disrupt 2025: The 'Going Public' Stage Agenda is a Vibe! ππ Who's ready to cringe? ππ₯"
ππ *BREAKING NEWS*: TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 is here to turn the startup scene INTO A π₯ BONFIRE of innovation (or just the usual cringe fest)! π€π£ Welcome to the *Going Public Stage*βwhere founders gather to pretend they know how to navigate the treacherous waters of company building. ππ° Let's keep it 100; this is like watching paint dry, but with more slideshows and existential dread! π€·ββοΈπ You thought your Tinder date was awkward? Wait till you hear these entrepreneurs talk about βsynergyβ for 45 minutes! π π The agenda's got more twists than a Netflix series! Joining the speaker lineup are legendary figures like βEricβ (we're not even gonna try and find a last name π), who probably knows less about real-world startups than I do about quantum physics! π³ *Leaked convo with a developer*: π¨βπ» Developer: βSo whatβs the stage for?β π§βπ» Founder: βDuh, to make us look smart while we crash and burn!β π€‘ But for real, if you're still navigating the wild seas of entrepreneurship, put down that tech podcast; you might as well watch this train wreck instead! ππ¨ Prediction: By 2026, everyone will have βCEOβ in their bio on LinkedInβand theyβll still be delivering DoorDash 5 nights a week. ππΈ #NoCap #Stonks #MemeTheSystem