🚨📢 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE SWISS WATCH NERD FRONT! TAG Heuer just launched a smartwatch that’s throwing shade at Google harder than your middle school math teacher when you forgot how to add. 🤡💀🤖 Introducing the *Connected Calibre E5*! 🚀 This bad boy has ditched Google’s Wear OS because, honestly, who needs a deadbeat OS when you can have the *Made-for-Apple certification*? It’s like getting a golden sticker for absolute basicness! 🤦‍♂️💰 Because nothing says “I’m living in 3023” like using a fancy watch that’s basically just an overpriced tech bro’s wrist-worn trophy. 🏆🕶️ 🤔🍏 “Hey, TAG, why’d you leave Google?” you might ask. They probably responded with a dramatic “It’s not you, it’s me” while hitting that stonks meme and pointing at Apple like Drake. “This is fine,” said every Android user. Leaked developer quote: “We’re just doing our part to make the Apple cult even stronger while giving Android users a half-hearted pat on the back. We like money.” 💸💀 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: In three years, they’re gonna release a hybrid version that runs TikTok ONLY, and everyone will still buy it without blinking. 🕶️✨ Thank me later. #MemeTech #WristSpOILed