🚀🔥 *BREAKING: T-Mobile Launches T-Satellite - For When You Want to Text Your Friends from Beyond the Grave* 👻📱💫 Okay, fam, gather ‘round because T-Mobile just pulled a fast one on us. They’ve unleashed T-Satellite, powered by their best buds at Starlink! 🌌✨ And guess what? You don’t have to sell your soul to be a T-Mo customer anymore. Now you can just toss a few *stacks* 💰 for the ultimate “I’m stalking my ex from space” vibes. But hold up, don't get too hyped! Right now, it only supports texting and location sharing! 🗺️🤷‍♂️ Like, who even decided that was a great idea? Elon Musk’s 9-year-old nephew? 🤡 No cap, the feature list is so short, I could tweet it in 3 seconds flat. Developer quote leak: “We wanted to be the first to send your memes to space. But, like… we only got this far. So you get texts? 🤔” Drake’s like: “Don’t text me if you’re in space.” 🚫👽 In conclusion: THIS IS FINE, but also CRINGE. 🤯 Imagine a world where T-Satellite has video calls, and suddenly, you’re vibing with aliens! 👽💬 🔥 *Hot Take*: By 2025, T-Satellite will be a dating app where you can find love with Martians. So when that happens, remember who told you first! 💔💖 #BasedAndTakeMeToMars